Jan. 5th, 2010

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SNOW DAY!!!! WOOOOOOO!
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A tad late but what the hey, just 7 months till the next one!

FRIDAY 28TH AUGUST 2009
It was a minor miracle that we managed to arrive at Leeds Festival 2009 in any decent time to set up our camp with ease and then fit in another twelve hours or so of drinking which lead to the creation of the ‘Stevo the Mexican Rapist’ character, Stevo is still not amused by this!

The ground (compared to the gluey stodge of last year) was in impressive condition although was worn away by occasional showers on the Friday and Saturday before once again on Sunday, Placebo’s arrival on the Main Stage heralded the closest the weekend had to a storm...

First up then, were Skint and Demoralised (8) who I can remember left with a stoner rock fuelled high, it felt nice at the time but didn’t leave too much in the way of lasting memories... As opposed to Fightstar (6) who do make decent records, it’s just a shame frontman Charlie Simpson can sing as well live as his old contemporaries in Steps and the noise he makes live today resembles him being placed in a choke hold by Stephen Seagal.

I wondered how Chuck Ragan (9)’s semi-acoustic solo stuff would go down in a ‘punk tent’, the answer is very well indeed. The ex-Hot Water Music frontman would never be boo-ed off in this locale but pouring on the country instruments, created a mental mid-afternoon barn dance where even the slow tribute to his Mother, ‘Geraldine’ are gleefully received.

A Wilhelm Scream (8) added some very enjoyable ‘twiddly twiddly’ to the punk formula immediately after that but congestion prevented me taking in most of their set, unlike Eagles of Death Metal (3) who would had the displeasure to see a most charmless set from.

The fact that Enter Shikari (8) are on the Main Stage is a great cheer to my heart, their music is a mishmash of a million different things, sometimes it’s sirens and twatting the guitar, sometimes it’s complex and difficult, yet there they are in front of thousands of people wringing a tune out of the most unlikely ingredients.

We leave Shikari and their hordes of huge sunglasses and dyed hair clad followers to their party and stumble across something completely different, Snuff (9) were together and knocking out straight up punk songs with smart lyrics when Enter Shikari were probably in the womb!

The day was largely spent at the Lockup Stage, with varying results, Set Your Goals (6) once you get over the fact that one of their singers looks like a midget twelve year old, you can’t escape from the fact that they are pretty average!

It was a pleasure to welcome back Rival Schools (6) who are definitely not average, unless their ‘United By Fate’ album was a complete one-off. However, the fact that the crowd only really got moving for classic alternative anthem ‘Used For Glue’ might be a bit of a wake up call for them...

Finally peeling ourselves away from the Lock Up tent, the Main Stage is the destination for bands on the Friday, starting with a rejuvenated Maximo Park (8) who’ve come a long way from the somewhat lifeless performances I’ve previously seen. Vocalist Paul Smith bounds around like he’s just stolen Axel Rose’s drugs stash and the band seem to have had some too! At last, the full package seems to be coming together...

Then, the main stage headliner of the weekend, The Prodigy (10), the only bad noise to come out during the entire set is the sound of the Arctic Monkeys shitting themselves in the background...

Effortlessly fusing the rave anthems of early years like ‘Voodoo’ with the newbies like ‘Omen’ and arguably one of the best things The Prodigy have done, ‘Warrior’s Dance’ and of course supercharged versions of ‘Firestarter’, ‘Breathe’ and ‘Smack My Bitch Up’. When you can end on ‘Outta Space’ and the whole crowd has been bouncing with you up to that for roughly an hour, you know you’ve had a good day. Simply sensational!

While Oasis used to paint themselves as the ‘bad boys’ of indie rock, it’s really the Arctic Monkeys (6) who just don’t play ball. They play 9 new songs when their album has only been out a few days, they still refuse to do Mardy Bum and don’t say a word. That’s not to say the new stuff isn’t thrilling and original, it’s just the set list could do with some re-jigging...

SATURDAY 29TH AUGUST 2009

Bear Hands (8) were the opening band we saw on the second day, as nice as their stoner indie rock was, I was distracted as my sister was ill advisedly trying to make her way to our campsite when everyone else is heading in. It was a noble thing to try and do as she attended Mum and Dad’s 40th anniversary party they said I was excuse from because of Leeds!) Still she turned up far too late... more of that later!

Anyway, we converged on the main stage for the thoroughly enjoyable Noah and the Whale (8), I’d only really heard one of their songs but I hope to be back for more.

The times of sets were jigged around and for once, it worked in our favour as it allowed us to absorb far more of The Living End (8)’s set than we thought we would be able to, their bouncy punk really suits the outdoor setting despite the moron of a compere informing the crowd that they had never played Leeds before, when they have, at least twice..!

Warming up nicely for Frank Turner (10), to not like his utterly sharp lyrics and songs suggests you might be lacking a soul! Old material was interlinked with new material as the crowd in the packed out Radio One stage entered into a ‘mosh-jig’, there is some justice in the world knowing that he is now playing Academy 1 in Manchester just 18 months after playing the Joshua Brookes pub!

After pints were bought for our friend Blondie when he revealed that he had promoted and helped Frank play one of his first Manchester gigs, my sister at last turned up, lunch was partaken before the surprise treat of The Qemists (9), their hip hop mixed with metallic riffs was an antidote to all the pop-punk shite of The View on the Main Stage that was dribbling into my earlobes!

L’Amour La Morgue (6)’s rather background music dance was the meat in the sandwich as we watched small children be employed to pick up beer containers to earn their parents money! What would the NSPCC make of that!

The other side of bread was amusing scally and surprise Celebrity Big Brother 2010 contestant Lady Sovereign (6), she might have good lyrics but she seemed keen on twatting around more!

A lengthy trip across the site in time to head down the front for The Gaslight Anthem (9), I’m surprised that they weren’t on the Main Stage, given that they seem to have garnered mainstream love for their Bruce Springsteen-ish punk.

They still rather amazed at all the attention, which in my opinion is a good thing, the crowd still seemed to be waiting for the singles like “I’da Called You Woody Joe”, “We Came To Dance” and “The ’59 Sound” but when they are so good, you tend to not care!

From one extreme to another really, as far as punk is concerned, Gallows (9) weren’t quite at their world-ending best but they are certainly showing a vaguely melodic side with their new tracks while creating the biggest and arguably most dangerous ‘pit of the weekend!

Gallows’ conclusion coincided with overrated indie posers The Yeah Yeah Yeah’s and Bloc Party heading off to be replaced for the Godfathers of 1990’s shoegaze, Radiohead (1)..!

Their trudging set, containing largely new album tracks caused most of the crowd (i.e. anyone who wasn’t a diehard Radiohead fan) to walk away bored to tears and wishing that they had watched Lostprophets instead!

The fact that they played a completely different set at Reading containing many tracks that would have gone down a bomb at Leeds, says a lot and explains why they had rave reviews from
the NME nobheads who only venture North to photograph the riots.

Never have I been so disappointed with any headliner of any festival I have ever been to. Simple as that.

SUNDAY 30TH AUGUST 2009

After last night’s sorry disappointment, we needed a pick me up and we got one, in the form of Sonic Boom Six (10), who looked as happy to be opening up the Main Stage as the merry group of fans who greeted them at the front!

It was a recent album heavy list, predictably with “Transformations”, “Polished Chrome and Open Kitchens” and “Back 2 Skool” in particular glinting diamonds in the Sun!

With Madina Lake’s shitstorm up next, we abandoned the Main Arena to see The Manchester Orchestra (9), who thankfully didn’t sound like an average indie band from Manchester or an orchestra, instead they had soaring melodies and hammering drums, tremendous!

A spot of lunch was combined with Instigate Debate (4), 2 hours discussion of music in what is normally the Comedy Tent. Good idea, bad construction.

Firstly, the panel contained some spack from the Kooks, dribbling indie zealot Clint Boon and the Head of the National Union of Students, some gimpy girl who informed the onlookers that it was “an indie festival!” I think Gallows, Lady Sovereign, The Deftones and pretty much the entire Concrete Jungle and Dance Stages might disagree, petal!

Sigh. Ah well, just to inform the head of the NUS more, Leeds also has comedy on, not indie bands, jokers like your Dad probably is! Anyway...

Sarah Millican (7) who I happened to see on the Charlie Brooker gameshow just before the festival is like your Mum going up on stage and talking about periods and sex, which isn’t a bad thing. Gary Delaney (9) who followed was a traditional comic, delivering funny gag after gag, yet these days, it isn’t all about that, the ‘political’ comedian is still the Wildman role in comedy, rarely do they make it onto TV and into superstardom, step up should be comedy legend Doug Stanhope (10)..!

In a performance that divided an audience unlike any other I have ever seen, roughly 30% of the crowd loved him, and the rest detested him!

He opened by mentioning that it was the first couple of shows in the UK he had played without George Bush Jnr being in charge before then lambasting Britain for not being able to get rid of Royalty in hundreds of years..!

Some of the crowd took issue and the next forty five minutes was essentially a running battle between Stanhope and the amazingly conservative crowd, taking delight in bating them with gags about paedophilic porn films not having credits, sex with ugly women and then by stating that “he wouldn’t flinch if everyone shouting things against him in here dropped dead this very second!”

Someone from the crowd threw an apple at him at the end; he caught it and ate it while concluding the show in a fitting way - “an awkward silence!” – victory to Stanhope, Rage Against the Machine claimed on t-shirts that they had ‘The Battle of Leeds’ in 2008, Stanhope would probably have a better claim in 2009!

And then, the rain came... lots of it, the ground somehow didn’t turn into sticky quicksand again as two bands who allegedly struggle live played the Main Stage - Deftones (8) and Fall Out Boy (8). Our experience of Chino Moreno and the boys was brief but the performance of “Change in the House of Flies” was as malevolent and brilliant as the original on the record.

Fall Out Boy incredibly have a Greatest Hits package out this year, how the hell did that happen, Radioactive Man?! They have a clutch of famous songs as a result and although the instruments weren’t played amazingly, the singer Patrick Stump’s voice did hold up brilliantly.

Then Stevo and Jimbo took a ride on possibly the most dangerous looking ride made out of scrap metal and maintained by pikeys that they could find...

Having survived that, we went our separate ways and only me and Toni stuck around to see Placebo (9) in the rain!

Thank goodness we did! Placebo seem to be a different band from a few years back and their album is one of the albums that made my year. Lyrically, Molko is still lush with description and bite but the instrumentation is more layered, more urgent and heavier, thanks to the new drummer Steve Forrest for that aspect of improvement.

They don’t even need to play “Nancy Boy” any more, there’s confidence for you!

The Kaiser Chiefs (10) never miss a beat (sorry!) when it came to this performance, the music although resembling Britpop hides thoughtful lyrics, they have more energy than the average tsunami on stage and developed a great use of electronic letters to enable the crowd to cheer more!

KAISER lights up

Left hand side of crowd shout “KAISER!”

CHIEFS lights up

Right hand side of crowd shout “CHIEFS!”

Genius! Then repeat but not often enough to make it boring!

Now Kings of Leon were due on next but we didn’t want to fall asleep so it was time to see a tragically underappreciated and attended Faith No More (10) at the second stage, to complete a masterclass of frontmen in bands and the festival.

Earlier there was the intense Molko, the exuberant Wilson and now, the just plain nuts in a very endearing and witty way, Mike Patton.

Bearing in mind that I hadn’t heard much (as it turns out, I hadn’t listened to anywhere near enough!) Faith No More, the pumping riffs and songs were just plain awe-inspiring. Like finding some kind of alien artefact on a beach, that changed your views on the world, this was a joy to behold.

Not just because they twice broke into the Eastenders’ theme tune as the crowd were not singing along loud enough and Patton entering the crowd much to the ire of the security staff, Faith No More were a rare treat and an appropriate way to bring down a festival!

Especially as the increasingly poor weather, beer calling us home and bizarre scheduling robbed us of the chance to see Future of the Left, due on at 2AM on Monday morning!

Then it turned out that my sister had done a disappearing act in the middle of the afternoon, having brought a solar powered phone charger to Leeds and worn down all her phone’s battery talking to her bloke on Saturday night, she just wandering off without telling anyone, packing up her tent and turning up in Buckinghamshire in the early hours of Monday at her boyfriend’s house.

Fortunately, nothing bad happened and the atmosphere in the camp with me, Toni, Stevo, Blondie and Chris was still rather spiffing! Yet another brilliant Leeds Festival, we’ll see if Jimbo will stand by his decision to make Leeds 2009 his final one!

Whichever way he decides and whatever festival you go to, an 8AM coach journey back hurts the next day..!

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