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To my eternal shame, this is kind of a tradition, watching the 'Celebrity' version of UK Big Brother live and basically talking bollocks about it, apologies if you're not into it! I KNOW that some of you are, for those that aren't, there's a treat at the bottom..!
First things first, as always, is how ace Emma Willis is! She's not just a pretty face and I can justify watching this show alone on the fact that she can improvise live wonderfully with almost any alive human being!
So, on with the contestants, opening up... it's the token fat one from TOWIE, Gemma Collins. She's got the manner of everyone on that fucking awful show, she has a 'personality' but not even an acorn of an intelligent thought inside her brain. She also spent £2000 on a designer vagina, yawn.
Oh and someone from Eastenders, he seems like a standard camp bitchy man, he does seem kind of likeable, he's called John, I'm sure he'll do alright.
Speaking of Eastenders, Daniella Westbrook is so deluded that she believes she is famous for being on that soap years ago and not for having her nose essentially fall off her face, due to snorting so much cocaine! Her interview isn't much more flattering than that. Dear Lord.
I'm suspicious of anyone who says 'Loving Life' every ten seconds, thou doth protest too much, fella. Anyway, it's a man called Christian, who is a Scouser off X-Factor who has had a breakdown and apparently, he had a public fall out with the preceding Miss Westbrook. The crowd roundly boo them. I wonder what will happen here...
Oh, it's an American stereotypical diva, she actually says she is "HBIC - Head Bitch In Charge!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! She can't be real, right? Do these people REALLY exist? Tiffany by name, fanny by nature!
After a break, TV Presenter Darren Day, talking like Danny Dyer to make him sound like the 'badboy' he claims to be. He seems honest, admitting that he is scared, on contrast to the ridiculous faux-personalities that have just gone in, that really helps. I'll tentatively rank him as a 'dark horse' to win...
Someone from 'Ex on the Beach', worse she's a right bunny boiler and the ozone layer now has a significantly bigger hole, courtesy of the quantity of hairspray gobbled up by her hair being put in place.
Black UKIP MP and London Mayoral Candidate Winston McKenzie is next, Nigel Farage must be delighted. Oh hang on, he's just said that he will have to his bum against the wall if there's a homosexual in the house with him! Oops, that didn't take long..! Given the plentiful gay demographic watching, that's an astonishingly stupid thing to do.
Men are now openly berating him as he walks in.Emma ironically calls Winston a "charmer" - he doesn't spot the irony!
David Gest is a psychopath, of that I have no doubt. An absolute raving madman.
Next up, it's a chimpanzee! No, actually it's Scotty T from Geordie Shore, he drinks lots of beer bathes in fake tan and fucks lots of slags, anyone who doesn't like him is jealous. Without even realising, he wants to take humanity back to the Stone Age!
Trying to do this in another way entirely, is Christina from Celebrity Come Dancing, she says that if she is not dancing, she will be doing housework, this is a direct quote "I am a woman after all!" WOW!
It's Kim Kardashian's best mate, Jonathan, whomever he is. He openly describes himself as a "prick" and has never done any washing/cooking/chores in his life. I get the feeling that's going to end well with Mrs Housework, among others.
Now, David Bowie's ex-wife, Angie is on now, she seems smart but liable to go off at any time, my early favourite. She probably won't win, as she's older and American and they tend to get voted off more easily but we shall see.
Someone called Stephanie from Hollyoaks, until they thrown out for being too pissed all the time, I'm disappointed at this, I'd expect everyone in Hollyoaks to be wankered all the time, given the standard of acting in that show. Quite tolerable, for a Scouser ;)!
Ginormous neck tattoos! Trying to fuck models! Arrogance! It's an another orange fella... Ooh, there could be a cock war!
And finally, Nancy Dell'Olio (not quite sure how to spell that!), considering she isn't from the UK, she speaks more eloquently than all the Brits, what an advert for the British school system! And she hasn't ever seen Big Brother..!
Some really important things also happened today, thank fuck! I'm interested in your views on this:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-35236630
First things first, as always, is how ace Emma Willis is! She's not just a pretty face and I can justify watching this show alone on the fact that she can improvise live wonderfully with almost any alive human being!
So, on with the contestants, opening up... it's the token fat one from TOWIE, Gemma Collins. She's got the manner of everyone on that fucking awful show, she has a 'personality' but not even an acorn of an intelligent thought inside her brain. She also spent £2000 on a designer vagina, yawn.
Oh and someone from Eastenders, he seems like a standard camp bitchy man, he does seem kind of likeable, he's called John, I'm sure he'll do alright.
Speaking of Eastenders, Daniella Westbrook is so deluded that she believes she is famous for being on that soap years ago and not for having her nose essentially fall off her face, due to snorting so much cocaine! Her interview isn't much more flattering than that. Dear Lord.
I'm suspicious of anyone who says 'Loving Life' every ten seconds, thou doth protest too much, fella. Anyway, it's a man called Christian, who is a Scouser off X-Factor who has had a breakdown and apparently, he had a public fall out with the preceding Miss Westbrook. The crowd roundly boo them. I wonder what will happen here...
Oh, it's an American stereotypical diva, she actually says she is "HBIC - Head Bitch In Charge!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! She can't be real, right? Do these people REALLY exist? Tiffany by name, fanny by nature!
After a break, TV Presenter Darren Day, talking like Danny Dyer to make him sound like the 'badboy' he claims to be. He seems honest, admitting that he is scared, on contrast to the ridiculous faux-personalities that have just gone in, that really helps. I'll tentatively rank him as a 'dark horse' to win...
Someone from 'Ex on the Beach', worse she's a right bunny boiler and the ozone layer now has a significantly bigger hole, courtesy of the quantity of hairspray gobbled up by her hair being put in place.
Black UKIP MP and London Mayoral Candidate Winston McKenzie is next, Nigel Farage must be delighted. Oh hang on, he's just said that he will have to his bum against the wall if there's a homosexual in the house with him! Oops, that didn't take long..! Given the plentiful gay demographic watching, that's an astonishingly stupid thing to do.
Men are now openly berating him as he walks in.Emma ironically calls Winston a "charmer" - he doesn't spot the irony!
David Gest is a psychopath, of that I have no doubt. An absolute raving madman.
Next up, it's a chimpanzee! No, actually it's Scotty T from Geordie Shore, he drinks lots of beer bathes in fake tan and fucks lots of slags, anyone who doesn't like him is jealous. Without even realising, he wants to take humanity back to the Stone Age!
Trying to do this in another way entirely, is Christina from Celebrity Come Dancing, she says that if she is not dancing, she will be doing housework, this is a direct quote "I am a woman after all!" WOW!
It's Kim Kardashian's best mate, Jonathan, whomever he is. He openly describes himself as a "prick" and has never done any washing/cooking/chores in his life. I get the feeling that's going to end well with Mrs Housework, among others.
Now, David Bowie's ex-wife, Angie is on now, she seems smart but liable to go off at any time, my early favourite. She probably won't win, as she's older and American and they tend to get voted off more easily but we shall see.
Someone called Stephanie from Hollyoaks, until they thrown out for being too pissed all the time, I'm disappointed at this, I'd expect everyone in Hollyoaks to be wankered all the time, given the standard of acting in that show. Quite tolerable, for a Scouser ;)!
Ginormous neck tattoos! Trying to fuck models! Arrogance! It's an another orange fella... Ooh, there could be a cock war!
And finally, Nancy Dell'Olio (not quite sure how to spell that!), considering she isn't from the UK, she speaks more eloquently than all the Brits, what an advert for the British school system! And she hasn't ever seen Big Brother..!
Some really important things also happened today, thank fuck! I'm interested in your views on this:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-35236630
