I put on Fifty Shades of Grey on the TV for a laugh, it's partially backfired, when Toni turned round and said to me:

"It's kind of weird to know that your Dad has wanked to this, isn't it?!"

Funnily enough, it wasn't what I was thinking about. Now, this feels like I'm rifling through my parents' hidden porn collection!

Oh and the film, it's either a terrible film or an expensively made, bad porno.