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My Dirty, Little Trash TV Secret..!
Aug. 27th, 2015 10:51 pmYes, I watch Celebrity Big Brother! It's awful, I know. You may think less of me, be tempted to press delete on my LJ account, spit on my face if you saw me in the street... I understand! But apologies, I will make it entertaining and NO, I don't take it seriously.
Once I get over the awful tacky schtick of London Tower beefeaters stomping out ahead of cheerleaders and I've recovered from how great it is to see Emma Willis on TV again (yes, she is attractive, she's also one of the most natural ad-libber presenters on TV), in short perfect for all the potential pissing about that is about to happen.
First up, Sherrie Hewson, I hate Coronation Street and Loose Women is one of ITV's most offensive, idiotic programmes; which given I'm talking about ITV's output, says a lot. Dear God.
Rapper Fatman Scoop compares himself to President Obama, when really probably all they have in common is their race and breathing oxygen. He does seem like he will say lots more absolutely ridiculous things, he could be a Gary Busey-esque dark horse that everyone else hates to live with.
Next up, Liverpool's most famous ginger (now Cilla's dead!), one of Atomic Kitten; given that their songs are probably big amongst the audience demographic, she'll be expecting to do well.
Some guy called Austin, who is famous for shagging someone else, filler. Unless he has a wank, which he has already threatened to do.
Gail Porter is someone I have seen in a live filming of a TV show (Celebrity Mastermind), she seemed genuinely lovely and very nervous, I'll be rooting for her.
IT'S DI BURNSIDE FROM THE BILL?!?! What the fuck! Chris Ellison looks like he should be in the National Front but when asked if he is proud to be British, he says no, saying you're proud of your country is like being proud of being born with feet, it's just utter chance! Marvellous!
Jenna Jameson's tattoos make her look absolutely nails, I hope she has a brain in a head and isn't just another fake pair of tits, the way she is verbally jousting with the crowd, it's looking good!
There are two gimps from X-Factor, no idea who they are, although the girl said that David Cameron isn't liked by anyone, so there's hope for them, I guess.
Then there's some American broad who is famous for knocking out a baby really young, rutting with someone on tape, having bad plastic surgery and from the VT featured, being an arrogant arsehole. Celebrity dregs.
Oh and a monosyllabic chat with Emma too, can I get odds on her being first out?! Emma then rips the piss out of her brevity, as soon as she is in the house, hilarious!
After a brief commercial break, it's Jimmy Hill! No, not the deceased, giant-chinned football pundit but the Yorkshire fella from The Apprentice, the second OCD person in the house but if he comes off as well as he did in his last show, he'll do alright...
Apparently, the next contestant is the selfie queen of the internet, I'm on the internet A LOT and I've never heard of her. She does the 'American tourist' thing of mentioning the Royal Family, then discusses "boning them!", vulgar but amusing! Her last name is tequila though, which means an airing for the Terrorvision number one song, which is ace!
And finally Daniel Baldwin, who has been in many films, none of which are famous. Arguably his most famous scene featuring him, didn't feature him..!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OW5cEoWUUqE
He's also a raging God-botherer! Goody gumdrops!
Well, that's the scene set, if you're also hamstrung by this awful addiction, please let yourself be known. Otherwise, I welcome your deserved verbal abuse!
Once I get over the awful tacky schtick of London Tower beefeaters stomping out ahead of cheerleaders and I've recovered from how great it is to see Emma Willis on TV again (yes, she is attractive, she's also one of the most natural ad-libber presenters on TV), in short perfect for all the potential pissing about that is about to happen.
First up, Sherrie Hewson, I hate Coronation Street and Loose Women is one of ITV's most offensive, idiotic programmes; which given I'm talking about ITV's output, says a lot. Dear God.
Rapper Fatman Scoop compares himself to President Obama, when really probably all they have in common is their race and breathing oxygen. He does seem like he will say lots more absolutely ridiculous things, he could be a Gary Busey-esque dark horse that everyone else hates to live with.
Next up, Liverpool's most famous ginger (now Cilla's dead!), one of Atomic Kitten; given that their songs are probably big amongst the audience demographic, she'll be expecting to do well.
Some guy called Austin, who is famous for shagging someone else, filler. Unless he has a wank, which he has already threatened to do.
Gail Porter is someone I have seen in a live filming of a TV show (Celebrity Mastermind), she seemed genuinely lovely and very nervous, I'll be rooting for her.
IT'S DI BURNSIDE FROM THE BILL?!?! What the fuck! Chris Ellison looks like he should be in the National Front but when asked if he is proud to be British, he says no, saying you're proud of your country is like being proud of being born with feet, it's just utter chance! Marvellous!
Jenna Jameson's tattoos make her look absolutely nails, I hope she has a brain in a head and isn't just another fake pair of tits, the way she is verbally jousting with the crowd, it's looking good!
There are two gimps from X-Factor, no idea who they are, although the girl said that David Cameron isn't liked by anyone, so there's hope for them, I guess.
Then there's some American broad who is famous for knocking out a baby really young, rutting with someone on tape, having bad plastic surgery and from the VT featured, being an arrogant arsehole. Celebrity dregs.
Oh and a monosyllabic chat with Emma too, can I get odds on her being first out?! Emma then rips the piss out of her brevity, as soon as she is in the house, hilarious!
After a brief commercial break, it's Jimmy Hill! No, not the deceased, giant-chinned football pundit but the Yorkshire fella from The Apprentice, the second OCD person in the house but if he comes off as well as he did in his last show, he'll do alright...
Apparently, the next contestant is the selfie queen of the internet, I'm on the internet A LOT and I've never heard of her. She does the 'American tourist' thing of mentioning the Royal Family, then discusses "boning them!", vulgar but amusing! Her last name is tequila though, which means an airing for the Terrorvision number one song, which is ace!
And finally Daniel Baldwin, who has been in many films, none of which are famous. Arguably his most famous scene featuring him, didn't feature him..!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OW5cEoWUUqE
He's also a raging God-botherer! Goody gumdrops!
Well, that's the scene set, if you're also hamstrung by this awful addiction, please let yourself be known. Otherwise, I welcome your deserved verbal abuse!
